Leadership

A counselor walks up to her supervisor. "Should we eat our snack at the bunk or at our last activity?" The supervisor asks where the activity is. The counselor says the soccer field, right next to the snack shack. The supervisor does the mental math: walking to the snack shack, then back to the bunk, then all the way to soccer makes no sense. "Get your snack on the way to soccer and eat it there," the supervisor says. "OK," the counselor replies. This conversation happens a h

Ethan was nine years old, wiry, and loud on the soccer field. Near the water, he shrank. The deep-water swim test was the gatekeeper at our camp. Pass it, and you got a blue wristband. You could kayak. You could jump off the tower. Fail, and you stayed in the shallow end. Ethan had failed twice. The third attempt. He stood on the dock, shivering. The buoy floated fifty yards out. To a nine-year-old, it looked like miles. "I can't," he whispered. "It's too far." I knelt down.

"Great job!" You've probably said it a hundred times. To your kids. To your team. To a friend who just finished something impressive. It feels good to say. It feels good to hear. But here's the thing: most praise is wasted. Not because we don't mean it, but because we're praising the wrong thing. The Study That Changed How We Think About Praise Psychologist Carol Dweck has spent decades researching what makes people persist through difficulty. Her work on growth mindset revea

If you walk through a summer camp, you might have trouble spotting the person in charge. They're rarely the ones holding the megaphone. They're not shouting directions or commanding attention. Instead, they're usually sitting in the dirt next to a crying camper. Carrying the water jug nobody else wants to carry. Whispering a suggestion to a younger counselor who's struggling. This is the authority paradox: the more power you give away, the more power you have. Jake and the Wa

Walk into any grocery store on a Saturday afternoon. Within five minutes, you'll hear a parent say some version of "Don't run," "Don't touch that," or "Stop complaining." Now notice something: the child rarely changes their behavior. They might pause for a moment, but the instruction doesn't stick. The parent repeats themselves. The cycle continues. This isn't a parenting failure. It's a communication design flaw. And it shows up everywhere, from grocery stores to boardrooms

For decades, we told young people the same thing: learn the hard skills. Master calculus. Write code. Memorize facts. The soft skills, we said, were nice to have. Frosting on the cake. The AI revolution has flipped the table. Algorithms can now perform those hard skills faster, cheaper, and more accurately than any human. But an algorithm cannot read a room. It cannot navigate a complex political conflict. It cannot rally a team after a failure or build trust with a skeptical

You can write mission statements. You can give speeches about your values. You can hang inspirational posters on the walls. None of it matters as much as one simple thing: what you actually pay attention to. Your team is watching. They notice what makes you stop and look closer. They see what questions you ask and which ones you skip. They know, with remarkable accuracy, what you truly care about. People respect what you inspect. The Coach Who Taught Socks John Wooden won ten

Picture this: Your team just pulled off something incredible. Maybe you landed a major donor, or your staff executed the best opening day in years, or your summer registration numbers exceeded every projection. The moment arrives when someone asks, "How did this happen?" Where you look in that moment tells everyone exactly what kind of leader you are. The Mirror and the Window There's a simple mental image that separates good leaders from great ones. Think about a mirror and

In 1992, a monkey that wasn't moving changed everything we know about leadership. Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti was studying the brains of macaque monkeys at the University of Parma. He wanted to understand how the brain controls motor movement, so he implanted thin electrodes into a monkey's premotor cortex. These electrodes connected to a monitor that would buzz every time specific neurons fired. One hot afternoon, a researcher walked into the lab holding a small piece

Your team is watching what happens when someone screws up. That moment matters more than your mission statement. You can have the most inspiring words framed on your office wall. You can deliver a rousing speech about trust and growth. But none of it means anything until someone on your team makes a mistake. That's when your real values are on display. The Wrong Turn Here's a scenario I share with staff at the beginning of every summer. Imagine ten guests driving to a party.

A study of teachers and students revealed something uncomfortable about how expectations work. In the 1960s, researchers told teachers that certain students in their classes had been identified as "intellectual bloomers" who would show unusual academic gains that year. The teachers believed it. They watched those students more closely. They encouraged them more. They gave them more chances to succeed. By the end of the year, those students had, in fact, improved more than the

Why camp counselors are learning skills that Harvard Business School can't teach. Every summer, thousands of college students face a choice. On one side: internships at banks, consulting firms, and tech companies. Air conditioning. Business cards. A line on the resume that looks impressive. On the other side: a summer camp. Tie-dye shirts. Bug spray. Singing songs about moose. A paycheck that barely covers textbooks. From the outside, the choice seems obvious. The internship

The odd habit that signals everything about a leader. There's an odd habit shared by many successful business owners. Titans of industry, people who could buy the building they're standing in, can be spotted picking up garbage from the floor and throwing it in the trash. Why? Surely these men and women have more valuable ways to use their time. There's a janitorial team. There are assistants. There are a hundred people who could handle a gum wrapper on the ground. And yet. I'