Where You Look After a Win Reveals Everything

Picture this: Your team just pulled off something incredible. Maybe you landed a major donor, or your staff executed the best opening day in years, or your summer registration numbers exceeded every projection. The moment arrives when someone asks, "How did this happen?"

Where you look in that moment tells everyone exactly what kind of leader you are.

The Mirror and the Window

There's a simple mental image that separates good leaders from great ones.

Think about a mirror and a window.

When something goes wrong, great leaders look into the mirror. They take responsibility, even when they know someone else made the mistake. When something goes right, they look out the window and point to everyone who made it possible.

This sounds obvious. It's also remarkably hard to do.

What We See in Post-Game Press Conferences

Watch coaches after a tough loss and you'll notice they fall into two distinct categories.

Some coaches blame the referees. They call out players who made mistakes. They find external reasons for every failure. You can almost see them looking for someone else to absorb the heat.

Other coaches say something different: "We didn't play well enough today. That's my responsibility. I have to prepare the team better."

Which coach would you rather play for?

The players know who made the actual mistakes. They were there. They don't need the coach to announce it to reporters. What they need is a leader who will stand in front of the criticism and say, "This is on me."

That kind of accountability doesn't weaken a leader's position. It strengthens it.

The Band That Breaks Up

Here's a pattern I've seen play out dozens of times: a team accomplishes something remarkable, and then falls apart shortly after.

Often, the cause is simple. One person hogged the credit.

Think about how many successful bands have imploded because the lead vocalist acted like the only person on stage. The guitarist who played every note perfectly, the drummer who kept everyone in time, the bassist who anchored every song: they all watched someone else take the bow.

That kind of behavior might work once. It doesn't work twice.

Why This Is So Hard

Understanding the mirror and window concept takes about thirty seconds. Living it takes a lifetime.

After a big win, it's tempting to tell everyone how amazing you are. After all, if you want to advance your career, shouldn't you make sure everyone knows about your contributions?

Here's what I've learned over forty years in camp: life is a marathon, not a sprint.

Taking credit for a victory will bring you short-term satisfaction. Your name gets mentioned in the meeting. You feel important for an afternoon. But your team notices. They remember who grabbed the spotlight and who shared it.

In the long run, teams work harder for leaders who deflect praise than for leaders who collect it.

What This Looks Like at Camp

A first-year counselor comes up with an idea that transforms your rainy day program. When the director compliments the innovation, you have a choice. You can nod and accept the praise (after all, you supervise that counselor). Or you can say, "That was entirely Jordan's idea. I just got out of the way."

A camper gets hurt during an activity, and parents want answers. You could explain that the counselor on duty didn't follow protocol. Or you could say, "We didn't prepare well enough for that situation. I'm responsible for our training."

Both responses are technically accurate. Only one builds a team that trusts you.

The Trail Marker

Leadership comes with many burdens. One of the heaviest is this: great leaders often take blame they don't deserve and give away credit they've earned.

It feels unfair because it is unfair. But the leaders who practice the mirror and window technique are the ones people follow for decades.

The next time something goes right, look out the window. Name the people who made it happen. Watch their faces when you do.

The next time something goes wrong, look into the mirror. Take the hit. Watch how your team responds when you do.

Where you look reveals everything.

About the Author

Matt Kaufman has spent 40 years in summer camp as a camper, counselor, and director, studying what makes people belong, grow, and thrive. He writes about intentional community, leadership, and the intersection of technology and human connection.

Connect with Matt:

• Instagram: @mattlovescamp

• LinkedIn: Matt Kaufman

• Website: ilove.camp

Books by Matt Kaufman:

• The Campfire Effect: How to Engineer Belonging in a Disconnected World (February 2026)

• The Summer Camp MBA: 50 Leadership Lessons from Camp to Career